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My mother, being a staff nurse herself, felt so hurt and was gripped with fear, and we immediately rushed to the Hospital.  A sudden thought came to me.  I prayed a short prayer “Jesus, please give me back my father”.

We reached the Hospital around 8:40 p.m. My mother went inside the ICU and came back in just 5 minutes to say that our Dad has passed away.  I got the shock of my life that night.

At that very moment someone prompted inside my heart to commit my life to Jesus – I said “Lord Jesus, I commit my life to you”.  I could not and did not speak anything more than that.

Next day was my Board Exam.  I said that I cannot go for the Exam, but many of my relatives said “Robin, write your exam or else you will lose a year”.  I replied, “I don’t remember anything which I learnt; then how can I go and write my exam”.

Next day I went to write the Exam.  I did not remember anything which I studied because only my Daddy was coming in front of my eyes.

Somehow, I finished my exam and went back home.  I started to prepare for my last exam. At that time, they brought my father in a freezer box.  I felt so broken that I threw my book and went close to my father. After that, I didn’t study at all.

Next day morning I went to my dead Dad and said, “Daddy, I am going to exam”.  There was no reply from him because only his dead body was in freezer box. All were weeping loudly. I went to school and wrote my exam, but till now I don’t know what I wrote on that day. I thought I would fail in my Exams.

All will go happily to their homes after Board exam, but I went weeping to my Dad’s funeral service.

Days passed by; it was one month due for my Board exam results.

I was dumb scared since I did not know what I wrote in my last two exams. First, I searched my Roll Number in Third Class category; it was not there; then I searched in Second class, my number was not there; I was so upset, I lost hope, but we proceeded to see in paper, it was a shock and pleasant surprise I saw my number in First class.

I called up my school for marks and was more surprised.  Actually, before my father’s passing away, me being a normal Christian, I scored just 65% of mark in subjects, but after my father’s passing away, since I accepted Jesus on that day, I had scored 75% on those last two exams.  I knew no words to thank my Lord Jesus.  He is awesome.  Dear brother and sister, whatever situation you are in right now, just commit your life to Jesus. Jesus will surely change the things for better in your life.

When my father passed away, my family was left without money.  My parents’ accounts were only with few amount.  These situations drew me more close to Jesus.  My mother started to pray more financial barriers to be removed from my family; it took time but it changed.

Don’t think why God is allowing only you to go through this situation.  God allows so that we will seek Him more closely and also to make us strong in Him so that we can strengthen others who go through these similar situations.

Today when I share my testimony to children and others, they are touched.   My situations which I faced during my 10^th standard, are now strengthening many people who are in crisis and bringing them to the Lord Jesus Christ.

This is where I learnt how powerful my Lord Jesus is and I started to feel His love more and more.  Now I have completed my MSW, B. Th., and M.Div.  Presently I am doing my full time ministry among children and youth and all age groups.

Ministry call:

After my 10^th std,  I was staying in Hostel in the town of Nazareth, Tuticorin District for my 11^th and 12^th.

At that time, I heard a voice calling me “Robin”. I want to tell you that I can’t explain that voice; it was an amazing tone. I was just wondering who called me; again the same voice called me “Robin”, so I just asked the guys next door, they said that they didn’t call me.  I was just wondering who it could be.  Again that same voice called me “Robin”, this time I started to talk back and asked the voice “who is calling me? I want to know”.  That voice replied me “Take 1^st Samuel 3 and read.” I tell you, I didn’t know where that verse is in the Bible. As I already mentioned I never read Bible.  I just go to Sunday School etc., for fun.  Hence, I was searching that verse in Concordance.  Then, I was searching that verse in New Testament.  At last I found that verse was in Old Testament.  I started to read the word of God. First time in my life, I was in tears, since it was Jesus who called, as He called Samuel.  In the same way, Samuel in the Old Testament confirmed that it was God who called him only at the third time.  It was confirmed by Eli that God was calling Samuel.  In the same way, the Lord Jesus confirmed through the Word of God. For the fourth time, I again heard the same voice.  Then I told, “Speak Lord, thy servant is listening”.

That was my first call to Ministry.  After that I waited for nearly 6 years for Ministry.  I never emotionally stepped into Ministry.  I was then volunteering in a few Children’s Organisations.  Through those opportunities, I learned that my talents are for children.  I had never been to any training.   God was my Trainer.

• My family was pressing me to try for my father’s job; but I was not satisfied to go for it.  But I did my level best. I did my interview in ICMR.  I did it very well.  But for some reason, which I didn’t know, my appointment letter was stopped, it didn’t reach me.
• Dear Brother and Sister, if God called you for His ministry, nothing can stop you.  Just keep moving forward.  Don’t get bogged down by peer pressure or others’ suggestions.  God knows who you are and what He plans to do in and through your life.  Nothing of God’s plans whatsoever can be thwarted in your life.
• After that I was still waiting for my confirmation call from Jesus. You might have a burden for Ministry or you might feel in your heart that you want to do something for God but just wait patiently in God’s presence in prayer.  Please do not do anything emotionally.  God will show you the way.   One day, I was standing firm in my decision to do God’s Ministry, but my family members were saying NO to it.  They were advising me that I should go for job and do Ministry on Saturdays and Sundays. But I was not called to be a part-time minister.  Thereby, I was not respected in my own family.
• They were making one point sound and clear that I should not oppose God’s plan.  At the same time, they were little worried about my life and future. So I was silent in prayers.  I decided not to rebel with others.  Instead, I held on to Lord Jesus.
• One day I was prophesied over by Bro. Mohan C. Lazarus, a man of God that God will guide me.  I was humanly thinking within me that Bro. Mohan C. Lazarus is a busy person.  It is very difficult to meet him in person since he is very busy running for God. 
• But to my surprise, I received an invitation through one sister in Christ known to me that Bro. Mohan was coming to open a Prayer Tower.
• I was with my mom.  I just prayed “Lord, if its Thy will, speak through thy servant”.  Some people ask God “give me this; give me that”.  Brother, Sister, I tell you, please don’t command God.  Allow God to do His will in your life.  But when you ask according to your desire, He will give you what you ask, but you have to face the consequence.  Hence, please ask “Lord, let your will be done in my life”.
• Prayer meet was about to come to a finish.  At that time, I heard a voice from the stage, “a young boy has come, who has committed for God’s ministry.  You think in your heart – how I am going to do ministry, I am undergoing so many problems”. But, God is telling you – according to Psalm 32:8, The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway of your life. I will advise you and watch over you.” After saying that verse he said, “Go in peace my son”.  At that time, I felt an awesome presence that uplifted me. And after that I worked for an organisation, but that was not God’s will.  God spoke with me and He said “come out of that organisation”, and he gave me a vision (*HI HIDS MINISTRIES*) and to do individually. After coming out of that Organisation, I was again discouraged by people because I was left with no money. After that I had no ministry for eight months.  And that emotionally pushed me into a negative state wherein the thought that whether this is God’s will arose in my mind.  During such time, I was encouraged by Pastor Victor.   On the other hand, I was discouraged by people. Today you might have taken a decision for the Lord and might be in this similar situation.  I would advise ‘stand firm’.  I stood for the Lord.  A day came.  It was even more hurting. My mother who supported me to do ministry said, “Robin, go and work”.
• I was so hurt inside. On that day I was broken so much. Again God encouraged me through Pastor Victor.  After that incident, I went and prayed in tears, “Lord speak to me what I am supposed to do”.  The Lord Jesus spoke to me through Jeremiah 42: 10 to 11, 12 He promised. And from verses 13 to 22, God commanded me to stay in my land (ministry) and not to go to Egypt (worldly job).  “Then you will die there in famine”.  Many said, “Robin, you better work since you need money to survive”.  But work is Egypt for me.  So, I stood firm on my call.
• Stand firm; Don’t give up; Never lose hope in prayer; Keep praying since prayer made me to come this far in ministry and life.
• Now I am doing full time ministry among children and youth and people belonging to other age groups.  I am blessed by the Lord Jesus in all sides of my life.
• When I need anything, I pray God answers me and cares for me more than an earthly father.
• I never forget my mother Mrs. P. Jebanesi Pushparagam.  Because of my mother’s prayer, God has brought me thus far in my life.  Though I miss my father Mr. C . Ahas Daniel Raj (late), the Lord Jesus my heavenly father is with me in my life.
• Keep us in prayers and support us as the Lord leads you. God bless you all.